Inspired by Taylor Swift who sings songs based on her bad ex-boyfriends.
What 10 Ways Ex-Boyfriends have inspired my writing and life
In the interest of not getting sued, I have changed all ex-boyfriends names and made a faux alphabetical list. All men are based on real ex-boyfriends from school years until now. True heroes can exist too, but I haven’t found mine yet.
1. Adam– Guys hearts can be fragile, too. It’s courageous to ask a girl out, and he helped me get out of my shell. I was so in my shy shell, and he pulled me out of my shyness. What I should have learned is never listen to your parents on everything, and let them live their lives through you. This comes into me for heroes a lot. Emotionally my heroes might not see the obvious, but physically or in other areas they are so strong.
2. Brian– Don’t listen to psychics, which also became part of what I’m writing currently. Three separate psychics over the years, who I’ve talked to in person as I don’t pay for these things, have declared things like ‘Bells ring in heaven’ for this guys name with mine. If the bells rang, then he shouldn’t have used one moment to judge hard for one moment thing as people are more than one moment in time. He’d be here, and again, it’s all being true to me, not what others might say. (What’s funny is how I wrote this as I grew up so religiously strict and I have an ex where I’m talking about psychics.)
3. Carl– We all have our strengths, and I tend to be quiet. I need to be me, without going to another untrue extreme. Be able to speak from your heart in person, not over any other means. Don’t settle for less. My heroines haven’t had this issue yet, but one in the future might. (The internet doesn’t exist in Ancient Athens.) I know what it’s like to stay quiet when you shouldn’t and to say ‘it’s okay to let go.’
4. Dillon– Never go back to someone who broke up with you because you wanted something else. If the relationship was broken, it’s has a lot of scars that can never heal. To be in a reunion, you have a lot of baggage to work through. I do love stories where true love reunites, but that will require a lot of forgiving. And sometimes relationships aren’t meant to be. What I’m writing now is a reunion story for the sequel… wish me luck.
5. Ethan– You cannot change who you are, your family or where you were born. Anyone who uses your blood against you while considering you better than the rest of the riff raff is a jerk. No matter how great he was in other areas, it’s not worth giving up your identity. This guy was the sweetest most generous guy, and rocked as the perfect boyfriend. Blood is blood though, and you have to be who you are. This can relate to my writing as a lesson the character needs to learn. I’ll dwell on this.
6. Fernando– Liar, Liar, pants on fire. If your instincts say don’t trust, then DON’T. Pay attention to the clues. When building characters, it’s cool to unearth things about someone then put the clues in earlier. It doesn’t always have to be a negative for a character, but if the hero in a story doesn’t talk about his family, there might be a secret. Find out the secrets and don’t fall for what someone says but how they treat you, regularly.
7. Gavin– Crazy guy don’t change. It’s not my job to save them. I love stories with bad boys who are cured with love. Those stories rock, and I love reading them. However, sometimes it’s better to walk away from crazy and never think about them, ever again. Find your center and move on from there. And don’t let crazy into your life. Plus it’s fun to say ‘no’ when it’s unexpected that it might ever happen again. My characters are emotionally strong women, but it’s fun to walk away from bad. This could be a fun story.
8. Henry– Boring is boring and if your heart doesn’t sing and emotions aren’t on fire, no matter how old you are, don’t settle. I can see this in a book as a life lesson for the heroine.
9. Ivan– Never say yes to a date because he has money and can offer you trips around the world. I am not arm candy, and don’t ever want to date one. This guy didn’t know what a value meal was, and I found that funny at first, but ultimately no meshing of worlds. Sometimes I might want the number 5 and think those chicken wings rock. If compromise is all you and not him, then get out. I can see a character learning this. I’ve been there.
10. Jake– Not the inspiration for Theseus, but for Ari. Ari has father issues where she wants to please. I’ve dated a guy who was like my father, who I needed to learn to say ‘no.’ Neither are as extreme as Ari’s dad in the story, but it’s important to go after what you want in life, no matter what. You can’t please everyone, even if in my heart I want to help when I can.
While I’ve not worked my way through the alphabet of frogs in real life, who knows what life has in store. Theseus rocks the house as a hero because he’s such the epic hero, for me. In Mything You, Theseus is the rock of a good guy, and not a guy a girl would want to kick out of her life.