My husband and I had an amazing experience yesterday, we had our level two ultrasound. I’m not ready to talk about it yet. First I have to get my thoughts in order. Right now I’m just happy.
So today’s topic will be about keeping the romance alive. This is going to be important for me. I’m a romance author and yes I get the cynical ‘wait till you have children’ comments all the time. When I suggest ‘writing has to be a daily goal,’ I have had those sarcastic ‘wait till you have children’ comments. It’s that ongoing ‘clearly you don’t want to hear what I’m saying so I’ll just say this as you must not understand me’ response. This response also likes to imply that romance is harder once you have children.
So I think this is wrong. I’m making it a point to keep romance in my marriage. My dear husband is awesome. I appreciate him. I talked about appreciation before, so today’s reminder is to find time to spend together.
Last week my husband and I went shopping. It was out of our daily routine, but necessary shopping. And we had fun together because that’s the whole point. When I think about the times my parents were unhappy, it’s times when they weren’t spending much together. Mom and dad grew busy. They are still married so they circled back, but I think the lesson I saw was clear. If you spend time doing anything together, then you’ll both be happier.
So once the baby is born, I still need to find the time to spend a few hours with my husband. It’s an important goal. I hope everyone understands.
Talk to you soon! Probably about that ultrasound. I’m so excited.
Victoria
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you keep romance alive in a marriage after having children?
Keeping romance alive after having children requires intentional effort to carve out time together. Even ordinary activities like shopping can strengthen a relationship when approached as shared time. The key is prioritizing a few hours together regularly, regardless of how busy life gets. Making couple time a non-negotiable goal — not an afterthought — helps maintain a happy, connected marriage through major life changes like parenthood.
What happens to a marriage when couples stop spending time together?
When couples stop spending quality time together, unhappiness tends to follow. As observed in long-term marriages, partners who grow busy and drift apart experience periods of disconnect and dissatisfaction. However, couples who consciously return to spending time together — even through simple, routine activities — can rebuild closeness. The takeaway is that shared time, in any form, is a foundational element of a healthy, happy marriage.
Is it harder to maintain romance and personal goals like writing after having a baby compared to before?
Many people assume romance and personal goals like daily writing become impossible after having a baby, often saying ‘wait till you have children.’ However, the counterargument is that intentionality matters more than circumstances. By treating romance and personal goals as daily priorities rather than luxuries, couples and individuals can continue nurturing both their relationship and their ambitions even after welcoming a child into their lives.
