OCTOBER

At the Wake

Oct 12, 2016 Part 3

Weight: 116 pounds still

Ate: nothing since my last entry, still!

Drank: nothing

Sex: still no! But soon.

For now I needed to ensure I was beautiful. I backed away and told Peter fast, “Well I still have my makeup on so I just need a minute.”

“You look good.” He said and glanced at my figure, up and down.

I’d absolutely not eating now. I needed to be beautiful. I needed to be in his arms. He was everything I’d ever want. I wrung my hands to my side and looked down at his Italian loafers as I said, “Peter…”

“Yeah?” He asked and just stared at me.

The heat from my soul should somehow warm my back, but a chill raced through me. I pursed my lips and then refused to tell him how I felt. I couldn’t risk that. So I mumbled a little at the beginning and said, “I… I’m sorry about your father.”

And then a huge grin grew on his face. His smile unnerved me as he said, “Don’t be. For the first time in my life, I’m free.”

Free? His father had helped her catch Peter’s eye. Was she about to out? I licked my lips and said, “Well I hope you and John start getting along.”

Peter took a step closer as he pressed his hand on her back. More guests were coming in the door. It was time to go back and greet people. I followed him and said, “That would be impossible. My brother… I think he thinks I had something to do with Victoria’s death.”

A shutter rushed through me. Victoria died years ago and when John had left, Peter had been all alone. Part of my heart still ached for how lonely he’d been, though he’d never complained. I squeezed his hand and said, “That’s horrible.”

And in between shaking hands for more and more people, Peter said, “At least I have you with me.”

Yeah. I couldn’t love him even more. This was the closest of ever saying how he felt about her.

This was good. I scooted closer and said, “I’ll never let you…walk alone, Peter.”

I couldn’t tell him how I felt. We continued shaking more people’s hand. The words “hello” and “welcome” continued out of my mouth for almost an hour.

This was alot. In the background I saw more caterers walked in. My stomach grumbled and I said, “Oh, look, the help arrived.”

Whoever’s hand I shook trembled. I glanced at the woman and froze. Alice Collins. She’d been Victoria and hers friend in high school and college, until Victoria died. She’d been the glue to the friendship. Jennifer hadn’t ever tried to look for Alice in years. Alice took her hand back and hugged her waist as she said,  “I came out of respect for Victoria. She was my friend.”

For both of them. Alice worked on her family farm if I remembered right. It was better if they never spoke again. I needed to make that clear. So I pursed my lips and guarded my heart as I said, “Hard to remember what she saw in you. She died years ago.” Alice’s entire body seemed to shrivel up. She’d survive and somehow they both needed to remember they weren’t friends. I twisted the knife and hoped Alice understood why I was so mean to her one day. So I curled my nose and asked, “Did you buy that off a rack?”

“Most people do.” Alice said and slipped away. 

For one second my arms wanted to reach out, pull her back, and apologize. But I held still. Then Alice walked next to her and shook hands as she said, “Peter.”

More people came and I tried to forget how mean I’d been.

My stomach growled for food. Finally the line thinned out and I pressed my hand to my waist and hoped I didn’t growl as I said, “Peter, everyone is here. We should go take our seats now.”

He held my lower back and we headed inside to take seats in the front row. Peter said, “Jennifer, if you don’t want to come home with me, no worries.”

Absolutely not. I curled my arm in his and patted his side as he said, “I’ll be with you every step of the way Peter. Besides being in your bed makes me happy.”

And that was the truth. One day we’d have the perfect timing. I’d tell him how I felt and hopefully he’d admit to feelings. We had such a bright future, if only he saw!

 

The House of Morgan