As a romance author, I never go on the page past the wedding or perhaps the epilogue of a first child being born. Yet as someone who is still fairly newly married (June 2014 for those people who go to old posts), it’s after the wedding that the romance truly grows and changes.
So today’s topic is how do you keep the spark.
I love the picture above as it’s two people just dancing by themselves near a lake, ocean, or river. The shoes on the woman are flat, which means she’s not doing the stiletto thing to make her legs more attractive. It’s simply joy.
The year planning the wedding is super well devoted to all things ‘wedding.’ It’s after the wedding that life calms down.
In the calmness it’s awesome to simply say ‘let’s take a walk.’ And that walk on the beach can be peaceful.
The romance comes when you accept the flaws and still appreciate the person. I see my parents or older married couples who have been together forever, and sometimes what seems to be missing is the appreciation factor.
I hope my husband and I always have fun. Even if it’s making dinner/washing the dishes as we laugh.
Life is too short to care about the stupid stuff. It’s best to let that go. Once that’s gone, and you are confident in who you are, then it’s super easy to accept each other, flaws and I.
My husband is far from perfect. I’m far from perfect. I think being married, you see more of your flaws. I know as a single lady for years, I thought I was fine. Clearly now I see I need to change, but it’s not about arguing. It’s about love and acceptance and seeing yourself through new eyes.
We all need to grow and change. Marriage lets us have a partner, if we can laugh at ourselves and be silly.
So remember to dance. It’s always fun.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you keep the spark alive after getting married?
Keeping the spark alive after marriage comes from embracing small, joyful moments together — like taking a walk, laughing while making dinner, or dancing just for fun. The key is letting go of minor frustrations, appreciating each other’s flaws, and staying confident in who you are. Acceptance and genuine appreciation are what sustain romance long after the wedding excitement fades.
What changes in a relationship after the wedding is over?
After the wedding, the intense year of planning winds down and everyday life resumes. This calmer phase is when real romance deepens — not through grand gestures, but through simple activities like beach walks and shared laughter. Marriage also brings greater self-awareness, helping partners see their own flaws more clearly and grow together through love and mutual acceptance.
Is it better to focus on the wedding or on the marriage itself?
While wedding planning deserves attention, the marriage that follows matters far more. A wedding lasts one day, but the relationship built afterward can last a lifetime. Prioritizing acceptance of each other’s imperfections, maintaining a sense of humor, and finding joy in ordinary moments — like dancing or washing dishes together — creates a stronger, more lasting bond than the wedding itself.
