Let me be honest here right now. Sex is not on my mind at all these days. I feel like I swallowed a basketball and don’t feel sexy at all. I feel the opposite to be truthful. I have faux contractions and the only ‘hot’ I feel is that my body is an oven that’s baking my daughter. The end result will be AMAZING and I’m not complaining. But I’m not “Bringing Sexy Back” at the moment. I want to do as little as possible.
So with this in mind, I still have to say that keeping romance is important. It’s not about the sex right now. It’s about sharing our hopes, our dreams for the future, our plans for right now and keeping up the laughter.
This past weekend we went to the baby store to buy a few things like a diaper pail. I didn’t get one from the shower and we need a place to throw away the stink at 2 in the morning until one of us is ready to take out the trash. I know that sounds lovely and you imagine that as sexy, LOL. It wasn’t about what we had to get at the store. It was about us being together.
My husband drove. We sang in the car. We talked about his big test coming up. We talked my novels and how I was thinking about releasing Electing Love early with all the political stuff in the air (and my 9 months were over.) Basically we had a good time doing something that neither of us were like ‘wow.’ We were also both newbies in the baby store again saying ‘neither of us have children’ when we ask for help.
When we came home, I was hot from the humidity that is South Florida and needed to lie on the couch. My husband again found a way to make me laugh so I wouldn’t be miserable from overheating. To me that’s what romance is about. It’s about being there for one another and being open to talking.
Oh and my husband doesn’t think I swallowed a basketball as I told him that. He says I’m beautiful so he’s a smart guy even if I don’t feel I am at the moment. There are no pictures of me pregnant or as little as possible because I’m just not feeling like I need my looks. There will be a picture of me holding my daughter when she arrives.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you keep romance alive during late pregnancy when you don’t feel sexy?
During late pregnancy, romance doesn’t have to center on sex. Focus on shared experiences like running errands together, singing in the car, and talking about future plans and dreams. Laughter, emotional connection, and simply being present for each other are what sustain a relationship when physical intimacy takes a back seat.
What does maintaining a relationship look like in the third trimester of pregnancy?
In the third trimester, maintaining a relationship looks like small, everyday moments of togetherness — driving to the baby store, discussing upcoming life changes, and finding humor in discomfort. It means talking openly about hopes, plans, and personal goals, and having a partner who offers reassurance and makes you laugh even when you’re physically miserable.
Is it better to focus on emotional connection or physical intimacy during pregnancy?
During pregnancy, especially in the final weeks, emotional connection is often more meaningful and sustainable than physical intimacy. Feeling overheated, uncomfortable, and physically unlike yourself can make sex unappealing. Prioritizing open conversation, shared laughter, and mutual support builds a stronger foundation and keeps the relationship healthy until physical intimacy naturally resumes after birth.
