“Nothing prepares you.” then insert “personal story.”
This is the most common advice I’ve heard to date. While it’s absolutely true that I cannot prepare for any and all things, I’m over 35.
At 18, I would not have been a good mother. I hadn’t lived and was very selfish. I clearly had a high opinion of myself. I wanted to see the world and not be stuck in one place. I wanted college. I wanted to support myself. And I did all these things.
I’m super happy I waited. And yes part of me is still me. I absolutely understand my life will change. Part of me is terrified that I now have this huge responsibility coming my way. I can’t simply say ‘I’m off to go do this.’ It’s not about me anymore.
Another part of my soul is excited. I’m now entrusted with a life inside me who will soon make their appearance in the world. It’s already obvious to strangers I’m pregnant. First time moms are supposed to change slower than I did, but clearly my mom’s warning to me was right. She said I had birthing hips. She said one day I’d have her hips.
The day is arriving.
Luckily I also know that mom gave birth to all four of the Pinder siblings naturally and without drama. I’m hoping I can be like her. I expect that day around August will be painful, but not out of this world. I’ll be fine. If the doctors tell me to do something, I’ll listen unless something gives me pause. The gut instinct of mine has never led me wrong.
So emotionally I’m preparing way more than I am physically. I honestly don’t have anything for this baby yet other than a list of things to get. It feels wrong to start buying too early.
So hugs. Soon I’ll be introducing some of my author friends who offered to give me advice on this blog. I’m excited to read and learn and share with everyone. I hope you are too.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you emotionally prepare for becoming a first-time mom later in life?
Emotionally preparing for first-time motherhood over 35 means acknowledging both the fear and excitement that come with the responsibility. It helps to recognize that life experience, self-sufficiency, and personal growth gained in your 20s and 30s make you more ready than you might have been younger. Accepting that life will change — while embracing that change — is a key part of the mental preparation process.
What should a first-time mom over 35 expect physically during pregnancy?
First-time moms over 35 may show a visible pregnancy bump earlier than expected. Family history can play a significant role in body shape during pregnancy — for example, having wider hips may reflect inherited traits that also influenced how relatives gave birth. Physical changes can happen faster than the typical first-time pregnancy timeline, so being aware of your family’s birth history can help set realistic expectations.
Is it better to wait until your 30s to have a baby versus having one in your 20s?
Waiting until your 30s to have a child can mean entering parenthood with greater life experience, financial independence, education, and emotional maturity. Someone who spent their 20s traveling, attending college, and building self-sufficiency may feel more ready and less resentful of the lifestyle changes a baby brings. However, the right time is personal, and factors like health, support systems, and individual readiness all matter.
