Do you ever watch a fantasy movie or read a book written by a guy where the female never get to do anything other than be this perfect creature that the hero wants? I read and watch those stories too, though I’ll never write them. I’m not a guy. I’m a female romance author, but before my wedding last year I dated. I also decided a long time ago that most of the men are not worth the effort.
Perhaps it’s the Aquarius Sun in me. Who knows, but I could never date anyone for long if they didn’t know how amazing we were together.
Someone once said ‘Date like your the CEO.’ I don’t know where I read that quote, but it rang in my head as a truth to always say.
And I’ll never bash men. Men are great. We date men because we want them in our lives. They love to do things that I would never do, but it can be fun. When women are 18, it was easy to look past most of the boys. (At 18, I doubt I noticed much about boys as I was way too focused and driven on what I wanted to do. Go to college, leave town, etc. I could have never dated a football fanatic happy to stay home. So remember who you were as a child. How did you view the world before all those hormones? Also remember who you are and what makes you happy. Your heart speaks softly compared to your raging hormones, but your heart knows who you are.
Now that we set the ground rules which aren’t rules but a healthy mental state now it’s time to talk about dating.
Don’t waist a moment with a guy who doesn’t find you the most interesting person in the world. Men are action oriented and while there are men out there that women target just to acquire, don’t get involved with that. If you are true to yourself, then you will know who can be a good director in your life. (You’d be the producer in this movie and the the producer.)
If you seek a guy to be your partner, then your life has to be open but don’t be willing to be someone you’re not. I’m an author. I’m going to need quiet time. I cannot date anyone who is so loud all the time. If you look at the cast of Friends, I couldn’t have any of the men. Joey is fun, but not bright. Chandler would interrupt my quiet time at all hours. Ross is too high maintenance. Beyond Friends, I could never date James Bond or a fireman because I’d live in fear that something happened to them. There are so many real life men that are a ‘no thank you.’ And let’s face it, internet dating means you spent more time talking to a no then you realized.
I met my husband because a recently divorced woman asked me how to date. The truth was I had given up on dating as all I met were ‘no thank yous.’ I assumed the good ones were gone and I’d be alone, forever. So without thinking I closed myself up. With this question now in the air, I opened up again. I was like ‘okay’ let’s do this. “I can open up again.” Then wham everything changed.
I knew who I was. I knew what made me happy. I could express it in a fun, non threatening way what I like or don’t like. On our first date, I told my now husband, what I like. He enjoyed my expressions because he knew how to then please me.
So this is my first dating advise I’d give anyone. Know your heart. Know who you are. And with this knowledge, be open but also be quick to use the ‘no’ label.
